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Brahmacharya in Grihastha Ashram - By Shri Vinod Baba Ji Maharaj

The sadhak who remains unattached and unattractive to worldly matters while living in Grihastha ashram and performs devotional service with determination has been called a warrior sadhak in the scriptures. To forsake family and worldly responsibilities, and to go to the forest for bhajan, is easy. But it is not easy to fulfil all responsibilities and still remain unattached to worldly relations, alongwith doing bhajan. Although, of course, it should be Grihastha ashram, where the family members together worship God and fulfil their duties towards each other. It should not be a nest of some animal like creatures where pleasing the senses is the sole purpose of life.

"Tayostu karma sannyasat karmayogo visisyate" (Bhagvat Gita 5.2)

The one who dutifully performs his obligatory actions (Karmayogi) is better than the one who forsakes all actions to please God (Karma sannyasi).

If someone thinks that, being a Grihastha, it is impossible to do bhajan and achieve the divine love of Radha Krishna, he or she is quite wrong. The samsaar has not entangled you, it is you who think that fulfilling the desires of your ever hungry senses and fulfilling the whims of your family members is your responsibility and the sole purpose of your existence, thus getting entangled in samsaar yourself. You, yourself, have chosen enslavement instead of freedom from samsaar. Slave of senses, slave of worldly affections - these are your own choices. There is no harm in the boat staying on water, but there should be no water inside the boat. There is no harm in you staying in samsaar, but there should be no samsaar inside you. What is samsaar? Any worldly desire is samsaar. Wife, children, family, house, wealth, etc are not samsaar.

"maya tatam idam sarvam jagad avyakta-murtina,

mat-sthani sarva-bhutani na chaham teshvavasthitah" (Bhagvat Gita 9.4)

The whole world is part of God; God permeats everything. Where is samsaar? Samsaar exists in your heart as the desire to enjoy things that please your senses. This attraction to worldly things and people is the reason of your entanglement in samsaar.

Q:  A sadhak who wants to achieve the divine love of Radha Krishna in this lifetime itself, can he achieve his goal while living with his wife and enjoying worldly pleasures?

A:  That is what Grihastha ashram is for. To engage in worldly pleasures as instructed by the scriptures is not wrong. The scriptures instruct us how much and when to engage in samsaar. There is nothing wrong in giving birth to children, but it should be as instructed by the scriptures. If you want to eat delicious food, prepare nice offerings for the dieties at your home and partake the prasad. If you just cook for yourself and eat it, it will be called 'bhoga' (enjoying worldly pleasures), but when you cook the same food with the intention of offering it to Radha Krishna and then accept their prasad, the same thing becomes 'yoga' (a devotional service). 

Q:  Even if we follow scriptures, at the time the sadhak is alone with his wife with the desire of having children, his mind is away from devotion to Radha Krishna. Then how can he achieve the goal of the divine love of Radha Krishna which requires unwavering contemplation of Radha Krishna?

A:  When the sadhak engages in samsaar according to the instructions of the scriptures, alongwith devotional practice to Radha Krishna, gradually, his desires diminish and he becomes fully absorbed in contemplation of Radha Krishna. As long as there is attachment to one's body, the bodily desires will urge the sadhak's mind. It doesn't go away as easily as people think. Taking the body to the forest does not mean all your desires will end and the senses will calm down. Controlling the urges of the body, battling with the mind's weaknesses, forcing the mind again and again into the contemplation of Radha Krishna - all these are the actual sadhana. Do you think your senses will calm down without this battle? Even if you go to the forest, the senses will not automatically calm down. Instead, while the senses still have the power to overwhelm the mind, going to the forest can be counter-productive. Everyone will think you are a great sadhu, you have forsaken everything and gone to the forest for bhajan, but in reality, your inner enemies will eat you completely. That is why many sadhaks, even sages, have been defeated by their sensual urges while trying to do bhajan in the forest.

In ancient times, kings used to build forts. In the forts, the army could stock rations and rest well to regain their energy during wars. It was also easier to defend themselves well against their enemies. Similarly, the Grihastha ashram is like a fort where the sadhak is able to defend himself from the six inner enemies (desire, anger, greed, attachment, pride and envy) by following the instructions of the scriptures and dutifully fulfilling his responsibilities. If you leave the fort, the enemies will attack you from all sides. Try to go to the forest and see how all your senses try to devour you. Your inner enemies will surround you in solitude and even before you know, you will start engaging in scripture-forbidden activities. So many sadhaks have fallen because of leaving samsaar prematurely before controlling their senses. That is why the sadhak must stay in samsaar and practice a restrained lifestyle, engage in pleasures according to the instructions of the scriptures and gradually, take control of his senses.


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